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 By Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler
I was called into the hospital room of a man who wanted to talk to a rabbi before he died. When I walked in, the family was stunned that I was there. Apparently, their father was not a religious man and had never asked to speak to a rabbi before in his entire life. He had made his request to see me to a nurse without anyone’s knowledge. Maybe this was a product of the dementia from which he suffered? His lucidity was known for going in and out. “This is new,” one of them said. Nevertheless, they respectfully left the two of us alone.
I pulled up a chair at the man’s bedside. He struggled to express himself. I coached him along. After becoming acquainted, I asked him if he was afraid of dying. He shrugged and nodded a little.
Then I asked him, “What do you want?”
He looked me dead in the eye. “Peaches!”
“Peaches?” I said. Okay, maybe he had lost it. Or maybe the man wants a last meal. Was “Peaches” a boat? A dog? An old girlfriend? A favorite sled?
“Is that all?” I said.
He shook his head. “Peace of mind.”
After a few moments of silence, I asked him if I could say a prayer for him. There is a Jewish prayer that is said by the dying. Many Jews do not know that we have our own version of “last rites.” It is a mini–Yom Kippur, a prayer of personal atonement. Really, however, it is a prayer for peace of mind.
The prayer is written in the first person. Ideally the dying person says it, but often clergy or a loved one reads it on behalf of another. It contains the Sh’ma, the Hebrew declaration of God’s oneness:
My God and God of all who have gone before me, Author of life and death, I turn to You in trust. Although I pray for life and health, I know that I am mortal. If my life must soon come to an end, let me die, I pray, at peace. If only my hands were clean and my heart pure! I confess that I have committed sins and left much undone, yet I know also the good that I did or tried to do. May my acts of goodness give meaning to my life, and may my errors be forgiven. Protector of the helpless, watch over my loved ones. Into Your hand I commit my spirit; redeem it, O God of mercy and truth....
Sh’ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai echad—Hear, O Israel, the Eternal is our God, the Eternal is one (Deuteronomy 6:4).
We all want peace of mind. We may not want to face the unthinkable, but naming our fear can help.
When I left the hospital room, I told his children that their father really wanted a can of peaches. Just in case.
The above excerpt, “Peace of Mind” by Joseph B. Meszler, is from Facing Illness, Finding God; How Judaism Can Help You and Caregivers Cope When Body or Spirit Fails © 2010 by Joseph B. Meszler. Permission granted by Jewish Lights Publishing, P.O. Box 237, Woodstock, VT 05091; www.jewishlights.com.
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Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler is author of Facing Illness, Finding God: How Judaism Can Help You and Caregivers Cope When Body or Spirit Fails; Witnesses to the One: The Spiritual History of the Sh’ma; and A Man’s Responsibility: A Jewish Guide to Being a Son, a Partner in Marriage, a Father and a Community Leader (all Jewish Lights). He is the rabbi at Temple Sinai in Sharon, Massachusetts, and is a noted educator in Jewish adult education, recognized for his ability to connect the importance of Jewish tradition with everyday life.
Joseph B. Meszler is available to speak on the following topics:
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The Spiritual History of the Sh’ma: What “God Is One” Might Mean
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Not Your Father’s Brotherhood: What Being a Jewish Man Meant Then and Means Now
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How Judaism Can Help You Cope with Illness
Click here to contact the author.
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