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Are All Responsible?

By Rabbi Goldie Milgram  

Jews take collective responsibility for the moral targets that are missed in life. At least ten days before Rosh HaShannah, we add a prayer practice called selihot, in which, having empathy for ourselves as being only human, we admit personal and collective ownership of the full range of problematic human behaviors. Let’s look at a few verses from one of the Selihot prayers, the Ashamnu:

Ashamnu We are guilty (spiritually desolate and distant from our higher selves)
Bagadnu We have betrayed (our loved ones, the community, the planet)
Gazalnu We have stolen (eaten without giving thanks; removed the rights, privacy, and dignity of others)
Dibarnu dofi We have spoken slander (spoken behind others’ backs, discrediting them)

A congregant of mine once protested, asking why, since he lived such a careful life, he should recite lines of wrongdoings that did not apply to him? The answer, in the words of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, is that “In a democratic society, not all are guilty, but indeed all are responsible.”...

As the High Holy Days approach, the passion for knowing yourself and acknowledging missteps intensifies. While people tend to think of viduii, “confession,” as a Christian practice, it has long been a part of Judaism as well, although the precise nature of our confession is different. Our confessional prayers do not specify each error as an aveyrah, “sin,” but rather as a heyt, an archery term meaning “a missed mark.” Judaism understands you to be constantly developing and capable of changing your trajectory. Jewish spiritual practices encourage you to take moral targets seriously and to work to improve your aim, because the consequences of your intentions, words, works, and actions are like the proverbial pebble yielding endless ripples in the life of your communities of influence....

We all can evolve; we all can change. One central metaphor of the High Holy Day season is to reflect and pray as if these were the last days of your life. For some, this creates a sense of urgency for understanding and change, and they will penitentially thump themselves over the heart with a closed fist. The Kotsker Rebbe, a nineteenth-century Hasidic master, suggested a gentle massage over the heart area during the powerful confessional litanies. For a new year to be even more full of life than the previous one, there is much understanding to be gained from the days you have already lived. 

The above excerpt, “Are All Responsible?,” by Rabbi Goldie Milgram, is from Reclaiming Judaism as a Spiritual Practice: Holy Days and Shabbat © 2004 by Goldie Milgram. Permission granted by Jewish Lights Publishing, P.O. Box 237, Woodstock, VT 05091; www.jewishlights.com.

*********************

Rabbi Goldie Milgram is author of Reclaiming Judaism as a Spiritual Practice: Holy Days and Shabbat; Living Jewish Life Cycle: How to Create Meaningful Jewish Rites of Passage at Every Stage of Life; Meaning and Mitzvah: Daily Practices for Reclaiming Judaism through Prayer, God, Torah, Hebrew, Mitzvot and Peoplehood (all Jewish Lights); and Make Your Own Bar/Bat Mitzvah: A Personal Approach to Creating a Meaningful Rite of Passage. She is also founder and executive director of www.reclaimingjudaism.org, offering seminars and Web-based resources on the application of Jewish spiritual practice for spiritual seekers and teachers. Passionate about bringing spirituality back into Jewish life, she is well known for over thirty years of innovations in Jewish life—in contexts as diverse as Esalen, Elat Chayyim, Princeton University and Bard College, the United Jewish Communities, Hadassah Foundation, and in the training of rabbis and cantors for almost seven years as dean at the Academy for Jewish Religion in New York City.





Living Jewish Life Cycle: How to Create Meaningful Jewish Rites of Passage at Every Stage of Life

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Meaning & Mitzvah: Daily Practices for Reclaiming Judaism through Prayer, God, Torah, Hebrew, Mitzvot and Peoplehood

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Reclaiming Judaism as a Spiritual Practice: Holy Days and Shabbat

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On Prayer Archive

Lullaby of a Restless Soul
By Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar

Study as Prayer; Prayer as Study
By Rabbi Amy Eilberg

Does God Hear Our Prayers?
By Rabbi Jamie S. Korngold

The Words of Our Prayers
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

Silent Prayer
By Daniel C. Matt, PhD

Gifts from God
By Dr. Ron Wolfson

Meditation Coupled with Prayer
By Elie Kaplan Spitz

Learning How to Pray
By Rabbi Zalman M. Schachter-Shalomi (z"l) with Donald Gropman

Breaking the Stumbling Blocks to Prayer
By Rabbi David Lyon

What We Do When We Pray
By Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, DHL

Avodah: The Path Of Prayer
By Michael Strassfeld

Expressing Emotion through Prayer
By Rabbi Elie Kaunfer

The Power of Prayer and Action
By Rabbi Jill Jacobs

Forgiving God
By Rabbi Will Berkovitz

Yizkor: The Service of Remembrance
By Rabbi Delphine Horvilleur

God as the Ultimate Writer
By Dr. Erica Brown

Prayer Book Trumps Prayer
By Rabbi Mike Comins

On Mindfulness
By Sylvia Boorstein

Tefillah/Script
By Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

Making Room for Prayer in Our Synagogues
By Rabbi Marc D. Angel

Start a Blessing Practice
Edith R. Brotman, PhD, RYT-500

Navigating the Heavens
Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar

Sacred Community Within and Beyond the Shul
Rabbi Baruch HaLevi, DMin, and Ellen Frankel, LCSW

Prayer of the (Broken) Heart
Rabbi Anne Brener, LCSW

Why Prayer Works Even When It Doesn’t
Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

C’mon Jews, Let Go!
Rabbi Elyse Goldstein

Open My Lips
Lawrence Kushner

A Mini-Sabbath at Work
Rabbi Zalman M. Schachter-Shalomi (z"l) with Donald Gropman

Prayer: An Eternal Experience
Rabbi Chaim Kramer

Rows vs. a Circle
Rabbi Elie Kaunfer

The God Who Is Listening
Rabbi Lawrence A. Hoffman, PhD

Waking Up
Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

A Morning Practice
Nan Fink Gefen, PhD

Preparing for Prayer
Dr. Erica Brown

Prayer—Fact or Feeling?
Rabbi Zalman M. Schachter-Shalomi (z"l)

Medicine, Prayer and Hope
Rabbi Lawrence A. Hoffman, PhD

The Haggadah’s Last Word: A World of Eternal Life
David Arnow, PhD

The Kiddush
By Dr. Ron Wolfson with Joel Lurie Grishaver

The Breath of Life and Prayer
Rabbi Arthur Waskow

Ashrei
By Rabbi Shefa Gold

Blessings New and Ancient—A Living Link to God
Rabbi Marcia Prager

We Pray Better Than We Theologize
By Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, DHL

“Out There,” “In Here”—What's the Problem?

Rabbi Perry Netter

Talking to God
By Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (z"l) with Joel Segel

Learning to Pray from My Bubbe
Dr. Ron Wolfson

Personal Prayer
By Dov Elbaum

Chilean Miner Rescue Gives New Meaning to Old Prayers
Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis

The Power of Praying with People
By Rabbi Mychal B. Springer

A Prayer Before I Pray
Harold M. Schulweis

Hebrew as the Basis for Prayer
By Rabbi Elie Kaunfer

With God as My Companion
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

The Healing of the Name
By Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin

Finding the Prayer of Your Heart
By Rabbi Goldie Milgram

For People Like Me Who Struggle with Prayer
By Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

I Don't Pray
By Rabbi Rami Shapiro

A Great Miracle Happened Here
By Rabbi Kerry Olitzky

When the Messiah Is Here, How Will Judaism Be Practiced?
By Rabbi Elaine Rose Glickman

Transitions in Prayer
By Dr. Ron Wolfson

Cultivating a Personal Prayer Voice
By Rabbi Mike Comins

Becoming a Prayerful Person
By Rabbi Lawrence A. Hoffman, PhD

Praying in God’s Corner
By Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (z"l) with Donald Gropman

Prayer Said by a Partner
By Sandy Falk, MD, and Rabbi Daniel Judson

Gentle Guidance
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

Tehinot: Calling Out for Divine Intervention
By Arthur Green, PhD

Breathing Prayer
By Ellen Frankel, LCSW

It's All God
By Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

Forgiving God
By Rabbi Will Berkovitz

Yizkor: The Service of Remembrance
By Rabbi Delphine Horvilleur

Teshuvah, Complete and Unending
By Dr. Louis E. Newman

The Kol Nidre: Mirror to Our Soul
By Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso

Where Does Prayer Fit In?
By Nan Fink Gefen, PhD

The Binding of Isaac and the Binding of You and Me
By Rabbi Dov Peretz Elkins

Davening with Kavanah
By Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (z"l) with Joel Segel

Prayer as Art
By Rabbi Ralph D. Mecklenburger

The Power of the Amidah
By Rabbi Alan Lew (z"l) and Sherril Jaffe

Lullaby of the Restless Soul
Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar

Prayer and Blessings for Social Justice
By Rabbi Jill Jacobs

Acoustics and Intimacy
By Rabbi Elie Kaunfer

Prayer for Sleep
By Sandy Falk, MD, and Rabbi Daniel Judson, with Steven A. Rapp

Paying Attention to Moments of Transition
By Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, DHL

The Prayer Book
By Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (z"l) with Donald Gropman

Longing: Fuel for Spiritual Practice
By Rabbi Shefa Gold

The Serenity Prayer
By Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, MD

Concentration
By Rabbi Rifat Sonsino

Two Faces of God, One Choice
By Rabbi Edwin Goldberg, DHL

The "I-Thou" Relationship with God
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky and Stuart M. Matlins

Praying God's Prayers
By Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

The Sound of Prayer
By Rabbi Anne Brener, LCSW

Avodat Halev: The Service of the Heart
By Rabbi Ralph D. Mecklenburger

Laugh
By Rabbi Avraham Weiss

The Sea of Ending and Beginning
By Rabbi Arthur O. Waskow and Rabbi Phyllis O. Berman

The Night of Vigil
By Dr. Ron Wolfson with Joel Lurie Grishaver

Hitlahavut
By Arthur Green, PhD

My Favorite Prayer
By Rabbi Rami Shapiro

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Tefilah?
By Dr. Erica Brown

Balancing Silence and Sound
By Rabbi Elie Kaunfer

After the Newtown Shooting: Comfort from Prayer
By Rabbi Dennis S. Ross

Prayer and Meditation: Combining the Two Practices
By Nan Fink Gefen, PhD

The Outcome of Prayer
By Rabbi Rifat Sonsino

People Don't Think Prayer Is Answered
By Rabbi Mike Comins

The First Kaddish
By Rabbi Anne Brener, LCSW

Prayer as Transformation
By Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (z"l) with Joel Segel

Sharing the Spiritual Search
By Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, MSW, MAJCS, BCC

With All My Being
By Karyn D. Kedar

Resurrection
By Rabbi Lawrence Kushner and Nehemia Polen

A Great Miracle Happened Here
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky
Edited by Joel Lurie Grishaver

Haneirot Hallalu
By Dr. Ron Wolfson
Edited by Joel Lurie Grishaver

Prayer and Pregnancy
By Sandy Falk, MD, and Rabbi Daniel Judson with Steven A. Rapp

Directing the Heart
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

Why Praying Can Help Even If You’ve Never Done It Before
By Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

A Niggun Is a Wordless Prayer
By Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (z"l) with Joel Segel

Have an Ongoing Dialogue with God
By Rabbi Levi Meier, PhD

Prayer Is Not Just for "Believers"
By Rabbi Anne Brener, LCSW

Siddur
By Arthur Green, PhD

Rites of Passage: Continuity and Change
By Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, MSW, MAJCS, BCC

Does Prayer Work?
By Rabbi Aryeh Ben David

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov Taught ...

The Night of Forgiveness, the Day of Atonement
By Dr. Ron Wolfson

God as the Ultimate Writer
By Dr. Erica Brown

Are All Responsible?
By Rabbi Goldie Milgram

Have a Heart
By Rabbi Lori Forman–Jacobi

God Desires Heart
By Rabbi Dov Peretz Elkins

Please Throw Me a Rope
By Rabbi Alan Lew (z”l) and Sherril Jaffe

The Essence of Prayer in Jewish Tradition
By Rabbi Rifat Sonsino

Healing Body and Spirit
By Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, MD

Tefilat Halev: Prayer of the Heart
By Rabbi David Lyon

Kaddish: Continuing Your Communication with the Deceased
By Rabbi Anne Brener, LCSW

Women in Prayer—Some History
By Rabbi Lawrence A. Hoffman, PhD

Kavvanah—Direction of the Heart
By Arthur Green, PhD

Prayer as Art
By Rabbi Ralph D. Mecklenburger

Saying No to Tebowing:
On Sports and Prayer

By Rabbi Dennis S. Ross

Silent Prayer
By Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

Miracles Surround Us
By Rabbi Levi Meier, PhD

One Hundred Blessings a Day
By Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman

Spiritual Goose Bumps
By Ron Wolfson

Choosing Life:
Prayer and Healing

By Rabbi Anne Brener

Changing Self-Deceit into the Quest for Truth
By Abraham J. Twerski, MD

The Importance of Shabbat
By Rabbi David Lyon

Peace of Mind
By Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler


Speed Davening:
Empowerment as a Kid

By Rabbi Elie Kaunfer

The Sea of Ending and Beginning
By Rabbi Arthur O. Waskow

The Medium Is the Message
By David Arnow, PhD

Connecting Ritual with Action
By Rabbi Jill Jacobs

Count Your Blessings
By Dr. Ron Wolfson

The Motzi
By Rabbi Jamie S. Korngold

Helping Ourselves
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

Walking with God in Israel
By Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

May Our Prayers Never End
By Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar

Script
By Lawrence Kushner

A Return to Fruitfulness
By Ellen Bernstein

With God as My Companion
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

“Hearing” Heschel: Social Action Today
By Rabbi Rami Shapiro

A Personal Relationship with Impersonal God
By Rabbi Mike Comins

Individual and Community
in Prayer

By Dr. David Hartman

Blessing: Bringing Possibility into Reality
By Lawrence Kushner

All the World Is a Place for Prayer
By Rabbi Lawrence A. Hoffman, PhD

An OK Jew
By Peter Yarrow

A Most Interesting “Amen”
Edited by Rabbi Dov Peretz Elkins

Restoring Balance through Personal Prayer
By Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin

Avoiding Complacency
By Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, MSW, MAJCS, BCC

Blessings after Eating
By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky and Rabbi Daniel Judson

Spiritual Greed
By Lawrence Kushner

What Matters Most
By Rabbi David B. Rosen

Neshamah Meditation—Experiencing Your Soul Within
By Nan Fink Gefen, PhD

Bedtime Prayers
By Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

Amen: Saying “Yes”
By Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar

P’sukei d’Zimrah: The Poetics of Praise

By Rabbi Mike Comins

Moving toward the Light of God

By Rabbi Alan Lew, z”l

The Surprising Appeal of
Kol Nidre

By Rabbi Lawrence A. Hoffman, PhD

At the Edge of the Abyss

By Rabbi Sharon Brous

Past and Future

By Dr. Louis E. Newman

In Dialogue with the Divine

By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

How to Become a Blessing

By Rabbi Elie Kaplan Spitz

The Need for Prayer

By Rabbi Rifat Sonsino

Love & Prayer

By Rabbi Avraham Weiss

Lullaby of a Restless Soul

By Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar

The Power of Presence

By Rabbi Edward Feld

Does God Hear Our Prayers?

By Rabbi Jamie S. Korngold

Finding the Purpose of Our Impediments

By Rabbi Levi Meier, PhD, z”l

The Forgiveness of Sin

By Rabbi Jack Riemer

Prayer as a Spiritual Path

By Rabbi Ted Falcon, PhD

Spiritual Deficiency Syndrome

By Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, MD

God as the Source of All Things

By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

A Prayer for Zion and Jerusalem

By Ari L. Goldman

The Amidah: A Prayer for Doubters

By Rabbi Elie Kaunfer

Silent Prayer

By Daniel C. Matt, PhD

Meditation Coupled with Prayer

By Rabbi Elie Kaplan Spitz

Breaking the Stumbling Blocks to Prayer

By Rabbi David Lyon

Praying by Imitation

By Rabbi Nancy Flam

Hitbodedut: Alone with God

By Rabbi Arthur Green, PhD

Mi-sheberach Blessings: Connecting to Our Experiences and Our Community

By Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, MSW, MAJCS, BCC

The Haggadah’s Last Word: A World of Eternal Life

By David Arnow, PhD

The Bread of Oppression or the Bread of Freedom

By Rabbi Arthur O. Waskow

It Would Have Been Enough

By Rabbi Arthur O. Waskow

Avodah: The Path of Prayer

By Rabbi Michael Strassfeld

The Power of Prayer and Action

By Rabbi Jill Jacobs

On Mindfulness

By Sylvia Boorstein

Making Room for Prayer in Our Synagogues

By Rabbi Marc D. Angel

Navigating the Heavens

By Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar

Prayer of the (Broken) Heart

By Rabbi Anne Brener, LCSW

Why Prayer Works Even When It Doesn't

By Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

C'mon Jews, Let Go!

By Rabbi Elyse Goldstein

Open My Lips

By Lawrence Kushner

Prayer: An Eternal Experience

By Rabbi Chaim Kramer

The God Who Is Listening

By Rabbi Lawrence A. Hoffman, PhD

A Morning Practice

By Nan Fink Gefen, PhD

Prayer—Fact or Feeling?

By Rabbi Zalman M. Schachter-Shalomi z"l

... Who Has Made Me a Jew

By Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin

The Breath of Life and Prayer

By Rabbi Arthur O. Waskow

How to Be Hanukkah Holy

By Dr. Ron Wolfson

Blessings New and Ancient—A Living Link to God

By Rabbi Marcia Prager

“Out There,” “In Here”—What's the Problem?

By Rabbi Perry Netter

Learning to Pray from My Bubbe

By Dr. Ron Wolfson

Chilean Miner Rescue Gives New Meaning to Old Prayers

By Rabbi Elie Kaunfer

A Prayer Before I Pray

By Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis

With God as My Companion

By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky

Finding the Prayer of Your Heart

By Rabbi Goldie Milgram

I Don't Pray

By Rabbi Rami Shapiro

Prayer, Habituation, and Holy Insecurity

By Dr. Erica Brown

The High Holy Days Conundrum

By Rabbi Mike Comins

Who by Fire, Who by Water

By Rabbi Lawrence A. Hoffman

Repentance: A Lost Art?

By Dr. Louis E. Newman

Other Prayer Resources

A Song Every Day
By Virginia Spatz
http://songeveryday.wordpress.com/

Making Prayer Real
By Rabbi Mike Comins
http://makingprayerreal.com/

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